


If I could trade mistakes for sheep,  Count me away before You sleep

by Fxndom_writter



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco, The Young Veins
Genre: Angst, Dreams, Enemys to Lovers, Fluff, M/M, Marriage, Post-Split
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 19:44:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14292072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fxndom_writter/pseuds/Fxndom_writter
Summary: Ryan and Brendon keep having bizzare and strange dreams but they don't realise that their dreams are connected





	If I could trade mistakes for sheep,  Count me away before You sleep

**Author's Note:**

> Songs used:  
> Trade mistakes: panic! At the disco  
> Everyone but you: the young veins

/////I may never sleep tonight,   
As long as you're still burning bright//////

 

Brendon's pov:

So I've been having some weird dreams, they all have one thing in common, they involve Ryan.  
It all started a few weeks ago when I fell asleep and there before me, sitting in a park alone at night was none other than Ryan Ross. I see him sitting there, with a tear stained face staring at me  
"You, what are you doing here?" Ryan choked out  
"I should be asking you the same question," I said whilst sitting next to him  
"Is it fun being alone?" He said,"your ego got too big, ha it's funny, the little boy too shy to even walk now has an ego so big where his friends can't stand him?" Ryan spat.  
I stared at him confused until I sat there. Remembering everything  
Jon and Ryan left me cause I was too much of a bitch to them  
Spencer left because I always mocked his 'lack of creativity'  
Dallon left cause I wouldn't let him do anything creatively   
Hell, even my own wife wants to divorce me and everyday she wishes I was dead.  
I blink realizing how much I truly have changed, it's funny how much fame can change you.  
"I-I'm sorry," I said through tears  
"Sorry for what? Huh? Taking my band, taking my name?" Ryan said bitterly. He then smiled and laughed,"funny how I'm yelling at you whilst I'm here, the fool that still loves you," his smile dropped.  
He cupped my cheek and stroked my arm, he then pulled me into a hug.  
"Ryan?" I asked  
"Yes?" He replied with  
"In all truthfulness, I miss you, I would have nightmares and panic attacks about what happened, my own wife wants to divorce me because she knows I still love you," I said whilst staring at the floor sadly,"even my fans know I still miss you," I say sighing   
He then pulled me into a kiss and I woke up, it felt so weird, i could still taste him when I woke up. But instead of having a Ryan cradled in my arms and on my lips I woke up to a large empty bed and I cried for the rest of that morning.

\----Ryan's pov--------

I had a fucking insane dream.  
So I was at this park with Brendon and I don't know why but he was there and I was so mean to him. I think because I miss him. But he said he missed me (liar he doesn't miss me at all) but I think it's my brain trying to tell me to get over Brendon it's been 9 years since you last kissed him, yet it felt so real, I woke up feeling like I actually kissed him, I could feel his hair in my hands, I could feel the tears down my face, I don't know what it ment but it could never be a reality, could it?

 

The second dream happened the night after.  
We were in our old tour bus, from the a fever days, those where the golden days, if only I could live in that year forever.  
I saw Brendon again  
"So,are you going to tell me why you keep appearing in my head?" I laughed.  
He looked at me confused but smirked and replied with,"not till you answer first,"   
"If I knew, I would tell you," I sighed  
"I really have been wanting to call you, to see you, even if we have beer for a night I don't care, I just want to catch up," Brendon said   
"Why don't you?" I asked  
"Because I'm scared," he said twiddling his fingers  
Understandable.   
But why would he want to see me? It must be my mind tormenting me. I mean in dream land maybe but in real life? Probably not, he seems so happy with his life, he's got a wife and maybe will have kids in the near future, whilst I'm still a lonely moonlight, no matter what girl I meet none of them ever had or will make me as happy as Brendon did.  
I looked to my left to see our old bed,I smiled and sat down on it. It was more of a seat of a van but it was our home  
"Wanna lay down?" I asked,"for old times sake?"   
"Yeah why not," Brendon said laying next to me.  
After an hour of science of us just laying there I decided to build up the courage and ask him.  
"Where you being serious, do you still love me?" I asked curiously   
"Y-yes," he said  
I cried slightly, I smiled at him and he wrapped his arms around me, I did so too and he calmly drifted me to fall asleep until I was awoken in real life to my dogs,   
"oh well, it was fun whilst it lasted," I sighed

 

\------Brendon's pov-------

These dreams keep getting weirder.  
So I had a dream where I fell asleep with Ryan on our old 'tour bus' it wasn't really a tour bus, it was more like a renovated van.  
Where he asked me a question, do I love him still, now I'm not even sure my self but if he asked me right now in real life to marry him I'd said yes.  
But I woke up again to a cold room in what the once warm body I was hugging turned into a pile of air.  
"It was good whilst it lasted," I sighed sadly looking at the empty bed

 

Now the third dream however, made me think of something really stupid which a idiot would think, what if this is a shared dream with Ryan?  
It's really stupid but logistical at the same time, so here's what happened:

I was walking in the airport in Chicago and saw Ryan like when we met on his 21st birthday

"Wow doll, you've gotta stop appearing in my dreams, you're making me question my marriage, again!" I laughed," and this time I'm not writing songs!" I laughed  
His face went dead flat and looked at me with dead serious eyes  
"Brendon, you are messing with me right? A trick, it's all in my head, just coincidence,we can't be sharing it, no way!" Ryan said  
"What's wrong?" I asked him  
"Oh nothing," Ryan said   
"So we are in Chicago what do you wanna do?" I asked  
"Hmm..." Ryan thought,"I know lets go get some food I'm hungry," Ryan said whilst rubbing his slim stomachs   
"That sounds good," I said with a smile

Ryan took me to the place we ate at for his birthday  
It was a little cafe, small but welcoming

"If I'm being truthful," Ryan said," I haven't been here since the last time we went," he said whilst taking a deep breath,"every time I even come past here I get anxious, my face becomes flooded with tears, all I see is just your face and see your name," he said   
"If I'm being honest too, I can't sing any song from pretty odd with out wanting to cry," I said sheepishly," all I think about is how it's your lyrics and how we all had so much fun making it and I miss then," I said sadly   
He gave me a weak smile and then a waitress came and gave us cakes (which I don't remember us ordering) and he fed me strawberry shortcake  
My sadness turned happy as I was drowning my emotions in cake  
"I'm glad in this world in my mind, at least I can still imagine feeding you,"'he said whilst giving me more cake  
I was slightly confused at the time but I just accepted more cake.  
"Can I fall asleep on your arm I'm tired,"I asked through a yawn  
"Sure you'll probably wake up in the morning in your room as that's the sucky thing about this place," Ryan said with a slight strain   
"Ok I'll see you later then," I said whilst drifting of to sleep on his arm

Ryan was right, I woke up to my room and oddly I could taste strawberries.  
I woke up and went to my mirror and to my delight? Horror? I don't even know what to call it, but I had a small bit of cream from the cake on my cheek. I smiled at this and continued on my day

 

\--------Ryan's pov-----------

Ok this dream is just creepy it just draws the line.

 

We were in the airport and he asked me why I keep appearing In his dreams, I was genuinely confused and assumed, well it's just my mind right?  
So we go from the airport to the cafe which we went to on my coming of age party and in all honesty I miss when we would do this kind of things, have our Ryan and Brendon times.  
But he fell asleep in the cafe on my shoulder. I found it very cute as he still had a little cream on his cheek.   
I ended up finishing his cake and ended up carrying him to our hotel. He didn't wake up sadly.  
As I was lifting him to our room, (which was the same as the one we stayed at on my birthday) I noticed a maid walk by. She handed my a slip of paper that said

 

'Ryan, call him, he needs you'  
I'm assuming that was a message to call him when I wake up.

 

I lifted him to our bed and I eventually fell asleep.

 

But very bizarrely I tasted strawberries on my tongue when I woke up. I also found on my table that morning a note, identical to the one in my dream... Well there was only one thing to do apparently.

 

\------Brendon's pov------

I got a phone call from Ryan at about 9:30 in the morning and I heard him

"Hi Brendon," he said  
"Hi Ryan," I replied with  
" I know it's like ten years too late, but do you want to go out for lunch today if you're not busy?" He asked  
"Urm, yeah" I said not thinking  
"Ok I'll text you the place, do you wanna meet at like 1?it's a little diner in la," he said awkwardly   
"That's sounds good," I said," you know, I really missed you," I said randomly  
"I did too Brendon.... I did too," he said and then hung up  
I really hope this isn't a dream

 

\-----Ryan's Pov---------

So I had the balls to actually call him. It went smoothly and he agreed to lunch but here I am sitting in a booth of a dinner with a lady coming up to me  
"Hi there, what can I get ya?" She said  
"I'm just waiting for a friend, but I'll be ready to order soon," I said   
"Oh well then, tell me if ya need anything," she then went off  
As I was about to text Brendon I heard him come towards my table and say  
"Ryan?"   
"Brendon?" I stared at him blankly realizing, it's him, right there. Absentmindedly we ran into a hug  
"I've missed you so fucking much," he choked  
" I did too," he said  
We broke apart after about five minuets and he said that we should order  
"Oh they have strawberry shortcake!" Brendon squealed  
I watched him admiring the younger boy being happy over cake  
"I'm gonna get that, what do you want?" He asked  
"Maybe a milkshake," I said whilst staring at the menu  
"Can you order a large one? I wanna share it with you...." He said with a slight blush  
I found that absolutely adorable  
"Of course," I said.  
"Ok gentlemen, are you ready to order?" The waitress said. I noticed it was the lady from earlier and smiled  
"Yeah a large chocolate milkshake and a strawberry shortcake," I said  
"Ok coming right up,' she then bounced away happily  
"So Ryan, long time no see, how's life?" He asked  
"It's good," I said   
"That's cool," he smiled  
" how's yours going?" I asked  
"If I, being honest... Not so great, see Sarah and I, well for starters she wants me dead and second, I feel like for all those years we've been together she's never had my heart," he sighed   
I gasped and realised this Brendon and dream Brendon are quite similar.  
"Oh...they must be a lucky woman to be adored by Brendon," I laughed nervously  
"Actually, Ryan its you," he said whilst looking into my eyes  
I froze  
"It is?" I asked  
"I don't know why but, especially recently, after all these weird dreams I realised, that Sarah was right, my heart never left you," he said whilst looking straight into my eyes  
I stuttered and was so close to tears.  
"Brendon," I said  
"Yeah?" He replied  
"I've been having dreams too," I said. His body now looked like it was made of glass and all his colour had drained out of his face  
"Mere coincidence," I laughed  
"Maybe not, did you go to Chicago In your last dream?" He asked. Now it was my turn to be made of glass  
"Yes?" I said,"why?"   
"Because I had a certain dream last night, we were in Chicago and you fed me aka and I fell asleep on you, I can't remember where we were or what kind of cake but I remember that", now I felt shocked  
"I had that dream, you were eating strawberry cake and it was back to my 21st birthday," I said whilst looking at my wooden beaded bracelet.  
"So now we know we share dreams," Brendon said ominously   
"Here's your food boys," the woman said to break the taunting silence   
"Thanks," I said with a smile. She left our table and left Brendon and I to just stare at each other.  
The rest of the lunch was us with joint hands and matching smiles.

 

\------Brendon's pov-----

Our 'date' went well. I came home with a Ryan Ross in my hands when I was greeted with an angry Sarah   
"You bring him here? In our house? Why?" Sarah asked  
"You know what Sarah, you are always asking for a divorce always saying how much I love Ryan, well guess what, I do! And you can sign those divorce papers cause darling, this man has my heart," I said whilst looking at Ryan.  
Sarah looked only slightly mad, but then happy two seconds later  
"Thank god, now I can go, bye bye," she said walking up the stairs and mid way through said  
"I've been cheating on you for two years by the way, my boyfriend awaits," Sarah says whilst packing her bag.  
Within two hours she slammed the door and that was the last I saw of her.  
I stared at Ryan and he stared at me. He gave me a hug  
"Sorry I made you break up with your wife," he said  
"It's ok, after all I was suppose to marry you 9 years ago when you proposed in Cape Town," I smiled remembering it. But immediately cried realizing he didn't mean it.  
"I'm sorry," Ryan said  
"It's ok, she had plans to kill me hidden in her sock drawer," I laughed  
"Why are you sad?" He asked  
"Cape Town Ryan, Cape Town," I looked at the floor sadly whilst taking a breath  
"Yeah I remember then," he said sadly,"well I was so stupid then," he said  
"Why would I not want to marry Brendon?" He said with a chuckle  
Well to be fair I was kinda an asshole to him and Jon a few months into 2009 so that could be a reason, but I realised he wasn't joking  
"You know Ryan," I said  
"Yes?" Ryan said  
"I love you, and I always will, litterely it's been years and even after numerous girlfriends and even a wife I still can't stop," I said on the verge of tears  
Ryan was also about to cry by the looks of it  
"Same here Brendon," he smiled.

And we lived in our little world of Ryan and Brendon for many years to come and we are looking forward to tell the world about us as many years later.

But after then, long after the end of panic!s days. I was walking hand in hand with the love of my life with matching rings, and sharing grins after a long, long wait. 

 

/////She comes to me when I dream  
I'm tired of counting sheep to see her  
I sleep because I need her  
And everybody knows it but you///////

**Author's Note:**

> AUGH it's here! I spent two hours on this and it's now 4 am oops  
> Also no hate to Sarah I love her sm like plz adopt me if you read this Sarah   
> Don't forget the kudos and all that and I'll see you later byeeeee   
> (Ps if you find mistakes bare In mind I wrote this at like 2-4 am)


End file.
